Tremor Fear before the Breast Cancer Earthquake
The day before my 51st birthday began my breast cancer earthquake journey. My 37-year-old cousin had recently discovered she had a very aggressive form of breast cancer that was difficult to treat. The day she called I was traveling for work. Without haste I pulled over and scheduled a mammogram. I told myself that it was going to be a birthday gift to myself. I tend to put my needs before everything else.
Two years ago, I had a hysterectomy. At my 2 month follow up visit my gynecologist told me he would order my annual mammogram. I awaited the call for about 6 months but didn’t receive that it. My PCP also told me to be anticipating a call to schedule my mammogram. Those calls never came. I suffered with hormone issues since the hysterectomy so most of my conversations with doctors pivoted around that subject. My cousin’s diagnosis put it on my heart to make the call and take matters into my own hands.
The same day as my mammogram I received a call from the mammographer. She saw something concerning and would be ordering a diagnostic mammogram. That was the beginning of this whirlwind that has become my breast cancer earthquake journey.
Taking Cover for The Breast Cancer Earthquake
A lot of people call it a war or refer to themselves as warriors. There are lots of women who consider this a battle. There are lots of women who wear pink and ribbons and talk a lot about the fight they are undergoing. None of those things are wrong. It is a fight. In contrast, for me it felt like an awakening. It was a breast cancer earthquake. It unexpectedly shook me to my core and woke me up.
My Eyes Were Opened
Because of this I never know what to expect from day to day. I have never put my own needs first and this was the wake-up call that God sent to me. To tell the truth, I’ve prayed for years that God would give me the courage to say no occasionally. I receive a multitude of requests for help from people every day. Finally, that dreadful day came the call that I indeed did have cancer. It punched me so hard in the gut that I still haven’t recovered from the breath it took. God answered my prayer in the most unexpected way.
Shaking While Going Under the Knife
I immediately began taking hormone blockers which put me right back into full blown menopause. I began to have MRIs, biopsies, bloodwork, consultations, etc.… It took away all of my dignity. There are 2 tumors in my left breast that have to be removed along with the nipple. Eventually I chose to have reconstruction afterward with a tissue expander. It’s the pocket that will one day house my new breast. At the time of the surgery my surgeons said I would most likely undergo some radiation afterwards but no chemo. For this reason, I felt such a relief that at least I wouldn’t be losing my hair. My breast surgeon compared radiation treatment to a sunburn. On December 16th I went under the knife to have my left breast completely removed with a skin sparing surgery and reconstruction.
The Breast Cancer Earthquake
Surgery day was very pleasant. The surgery technician quickly took me back and prepared me to undergo surgery. My husband came back and sat with me until they brought me back. Additionally, they gave me lots of good meds to combat the nausea and anxiety, so I was feeling good considering. I recall drifting off to sleep and the next thing I know my entire bed is shaking violently.
In short, it only lasted for about 5 seconds. Shocked, I opened my eyes to a tiny elderly woman sitting next to me laughing. I asked her why she shook my bed. She laughed and said, “honey it’s the meds I didn’t shake you”. Incidentally what I thought to be a little nurse sitting beside me was in fact a little nurse standing beside me. She promptly walked over to the other side of my bed to adjust a machine. I knew my bed shook and there was no way this tiny little elf of a woman did that.
The Elfin Recovery Nurse
She was my recovery nurse, and her ears were bedazzled with bright Christmas earrings. She sported a very fitting short pixie haircut. Her smile was from ear to ear. I was convinced that she used her elfin magic to shake me awake. As a matter of fact, she told me her story of retiring and then deciding to come back to help people. Her stature was small, but her presence was mighty. I was moved to a step-down area where my husband was allowed to see me. Consequently, he asked the elfin nurse and I if we had felt the earthquake. It was a magnitude 3.1 near Chesapeake Ohio which is across the river from the hospital. https://www.foxweather.com/extreme-weather/ohio-earthquake-chesapeake-december-2024
At last Victory was mine because my bed did shake. As a result, everyone around us started to chatter about this unheard-of earthquake that hit the very moment that I woke up.
The Aftershock
For some strange reason the little nurse did not feel it at all. She laughingly apologized to me for saying it was just the meds. We live on the east coast, and we are inland by hundreds of miles. Earthquakes are not a typical occurrence in Huntington WV. This was my sign. My cancer journey has been stamped by God. I knew at the time of my diagnosis that God had a plan for me. Indeed, God is getting my attention so that I will slow down and choose myself and my health above others. As a consequence, he is reaching others through my journey. And so, that earthquake has started a chain of events that are life changing and I give the glory to God.
To conclude, if you have a similar story, you would like to share, please reach out to me. If you know someone who is facing a new diagnosis, please share this with them. I write about many of my experiences here in Appalachia, but my most personal and present experience is the Breast Cancer Earthquake.
Amy Adkins: https://kle.sxx.temporary.site/wp-admin/post.php?post=24&action=edit
